Tag Archives: Family

Armor for Life

Thoughts On Life, , , , ,

I was talking to my brother and his wife recently and mentioned that I have certain clothes that I wear when I anticipate I may need emotional comfort. I don’t know if this is something other people do or not, but it has always been helpful for me. It is usually clothing that was a gift from someone I know, who will always have my back. Often times it is something that my brother has given me, such as the purple sweatshirt I’m wearing above. It might also be something from my daughter or from my dear friend Becky. (See post about the ring Becky gave me posthumously Dear Friends Make Life Worthwhile.)

In the instance of the sweatshirt, I know my brother will always be there for me to help in any way he can. He also believes that I am a strong, intelligent, capable person who can handle most things. Somedays, when I wear this shirt, it is like putting on armor that protects me from negativity and gives me additional energy to face the day. Other days, it is just a shirt.

Now, I know that the shirt has no actual special power. But the fact that it reminds me of a loved one, makes me feel better. What the shirt really is, is something that channels my thoughts toward positivity. It gives me focus when I need it. And having something that brings us focus, does indeed make our minds work better.

When I was in college, I made sure I always wore my opal ring on exam days. The ring was a gift from my mother. We were shopping at the mall one day shortly before my high school graduation when I saw this beautiful opal ring at the jewelry store. It had a lovely opal in the center with smaller opals on each side in a gold setting. I remember staring at its loveliness for a long time. My mom told me that as a graduation gift, she would buy me a set of luggage or the ring. I immediately chose the ring. As I wore this ring on exam days, I imagined it had magical powers and that by focusing my mind on it, it would draw through the light of the universe and show me the answers to particularly tough exam questions. I know what the ring actually did was calm me and give me focus on the matter at hand. Isn’t that part of what good test taking skill are? Remaining calm and drawing on your knowledge? Worked for me.

Silly? Yes, definitely. Who cares? These potential talismans have assisted me with passing classes, graduating college, to survive tough times, and pursue goals that I made for myself. In actuality, I did these things for myself, sometimes with the help of others. The power of the mind is an amazing thing. We just need to harness our individual ways to use it.

Everyone must draw on the resources they have to make it through life in whatever way works for them. This is what works for me. I hope you have found something that works for you. And as we make our way through life, let’s all do our bit to leave the world a better place than we found it. I’ll leave you with my favorite quote, a copy of which hangs on my wall.

“I shall pass this way but once. Therefore, any good that I can do…or any kindness that I can show-let me do it now for I shall not pass this way again.“

Books I Read in February 2023

Books & Reading, , , , ,
A puzzle I finished recently.

I didn’t read many books last month. It was a short month, and I spent some time doing other things. I was fortunate to be able to spend time visiting with family and friends. I got to hang out with my daughter for a whole day, I saw my nieces a few times, and other family members as well. I even met an old coworker for lunch and caught up with her. February is usually a slow month for me but not this year. I even put together two jigsaw puzzles! I haven’t worked any puzzles for a few years because of, well…cats! Puzzle pieces are not safe from cats, especially the young kitten we had. My mother-in-law gave me a puzzle case for my birthday this year. What a great gift! I am back in business. By the way, she also gave me the puzzle for my birthday last year.

I promise to read more books next month, but here is what I have to report on.

  1. A Frog in the Fjord-Lorelou Desjardins (Non-fiction)

Lorelou moves to Norway for the ideal job and has hilarious adventures learning to acclimate to the culture she finds there. The book is rich with her experiences of beauty in this foreign land. The social cues and norms are very different, she has quite the time learning the language and trying to fit in. If you’ve ever been curious about a different culture, I think you will enjoy this book. The author also has a blog about her ongoing adventures in Norway.

2. The Light We Carry-Michelle Obama (Non-fiction)

This is the second book Michelle Obama has written since leaving the Whitehouse. The first was an autobiography and an excellent book. This one is a different type of book but also very good. It’s more of a how to survive our current times and make a difference book, covering survival in the modern landscape. It focuses on two major areas, investing in our children and continuing to “go high”. There were times when I found myself bogged down by the details, but there were other times when I was greatly inspired. An encouraging read by a classy lady.

3. The Twelve Topsy-Turvy, Very Messy Days of Christmas-James Patterson & Tad Safran

This is a fun book! Henry the father, and Will & Ella his children have been living in a funk since the death of their wife and mother, five years ago. Henry has not celebrated Christmas for the children since her passing. The children sign their dad up on a dating website and odd things begin to happen. The events from the 12 Days of Christmas song begin to happen in quirky events in their lives. Chaos and mayhem ensue, and the results couldn’t be funnier to onlookers, but not so funny for the family. An unexpected Christmas miracle occurs and happiness returns. A silly book that I enjoyed.

4. Me Before You-Jojo Moyes

Louisa Clark loses her job and desperately needs another. Although she has never been a caregiver before, she becomes one for recent quadriplegic Will Traynor. Will had everything-a high powered job, wealth, women, exciting adventures. He is struck down in the street during a freak accident and becomes a quadriplegic. Will no longer wants to live in his failing body. Louisa takes him on adventures to make him want to live. This book is beautiful and heart achingly painful at the same time. I couldn’t stop reading it and then had to read the last few chapters a bit at a time because I couldn’t stop crying. This book has been on my mind ever since I finished it. I don’t think I will ever look at life quite the same way again. Many things we take for granted, should be cherished.

Magazines-Akron Living (2), Pioneer Woman, Real Simple, Down East, AARP

If you can only read one book from this list, make it Me Before You. This book has the potential to change how people think about those with disabilities and even how we perceive our own lives. Compassion can make the world a different place.

Peace to you, my friends.

Books I Read in January 2023

Books & Reading, Country Life, , , ,

I just realized that I never posted my list of books read for January and that I better get to it before it is time for February’s! I guess I have been too busy watching the girls, lunching with friends, and hanging out with family to remember. This is a good thing! So, without further ado, here is my list…

  1. Wild Maps for Curious Minds (Non-fiction)-Mike Higgans

This book was so much fun! If you see it at the library, get it! It looks at many different phenomena through maps. Where are the sunny places that could help power the world? Who eats the most fruit in the world? The most meat? Where in the world can you take the longest walk in a straight line? So many things I never knew I wanted to know, and now I do!

    2. Lucy by the Sea-Elizabeth Strout

    I almost didn’t get this book because I didn’t care for the first one I read by this author. I’m so glad I gave it a chance because I loved it. Lucy Barton and her ex-husband go to a house on the Maine coast to escape the Covid pandemic. A house on the Maine coast where you can walk on the beach every day is my dream, so I certainly don’t understand her complaining. I do understand thoughts and experiences she has in regards to the situation. And Lucy has some very profound thoughts and speculation that connects us all as human beings.

    3. Animal Life-Audur Ava Olafsdottir

    Domhildur comes from a long line of midwives. On her father’s side are the undertakers. They encompass both ends of life. The story takes place in Iceland. Quite a bit of it surround tales of Domhildur’s grand aunt, also a midwife. The main character has just delivered her 1,922nd child. A winter storm is approaching. This book was just interesting enough to keep me from putting it in the to be returned pile, but not by much.

    4. Fairy Tale-Stephen King

    OMG!!! This book is excellent. It’s not a horror book as you might expect from Stephen King. It is truly a fairytale. Sort of a cross between The Hobbit and Harry Potter. I got absorbed into this alternate world. Charlie Reade helps his reclusive, elderly neighbor, finding him after a bad fall. He also cares for, and grows to love, the neighbor’s elderly dog. Charlie learns about and enters the alternate world while looking to enact every dog lover’s dream. Making his dog young again. There he encounters many good people and monsters too. The adventure takes a new direction as Charlie tries to save his new friends and himself and return order to this foreign world. I can see reading this book again in a few years. I enjoyed it that much.

    5. Everything, Beautiful-Ella Frances Sanders

    This is a beautiful book! It teaches us how to see beauty in our lives, in expected as well as unexpected places. The book is a combination of prose and drawings/watercolors. I may have to buy this book for my personal library. It’s one of those that I can see reading again from time to time.

    6. Vegan Cooking for Two-America’s Test Kitchen (Cookbook)

    A number of these recipes look good to me. I made two of them and was pleased. I didn’t have the ingredients to make some of the others, but most of the recipes do have normal ingredients. Give it a go if this is your thing.

    7. The Lost-Jeffrey B. Burton

    I love this series. It’s about Mason Reid and his Human Remains Detection (HRD) dogs, aka cadaver dogs. This story comes with a murder, a kidnapping, the Russian mafia and a host of other mysteries. Lots of excitement.

    My bag of library books!

    Magazines:  Dogster (2), Country Home, The Home Edit, The Cottage Journal, Martha Stewart Living, Magnolia Journal, Mother Earth News

    Lots of good books this month. If you have time for an 800 pager, I suggest Fairy Tale as my favorite on this list. It captures that sense of magic that reminds you of being a kid.

    I hope you all had an enjoyable Valentine’s Day. This past Saturday, we hosted the annual family Valentines meal that my husband puts on every year. Lots of good food, treats, and memories were made and shared. Until next time!

    Never Too Old for Dogs, Part II

    Dogs & Other Animals, Rescue Happenings, Thoughts On Life, , , , , ,

    My first post about never getting too old for dogs generated enough feedback and comments that it got me thinking and I have more thoughts to share on the matter. They will come later in the post.

    I was using old profile pictures in my posts that I have taken over the past few years because it was easier. I didn’t want to mislead though, so this one is of me at 60 years old, as is the one in the last post. (Never Too Old for Dogs) If you’re wondering how I got my hair so much less poufy in this one, here is my trick. I put my hair in a ponytail when it is still wet and leave it that way until it dries. I have thick hair, so that is sometimes the next day. Once my hair is down, it does get “bigger” as time passes. Especially, if it is rainy or humid out.

    I got to watch my nieces over the weekend. I was so excited to see them! It was supposed to happen last week but didn’t work out. I had a flat tire on one car and transmission trouble in the other car. Both discovered in the same afternoon! It was not my day and let me tell you, I was none too happy that something came between me and seeing my girls. Both vehicles are repaired and roadworthy again. While watching the girls, I got more of those flexibility experiences that I was talking about last time to help keep me young. We again played hide and seek. The game is a favorite of theirs’. I took Zekie with me this time. He seems to understand the concept of Hide and Go Seek. Or he at least sits with me and quietly waits until we are found. This does not work with Shelby. She stands in front of where I hide and stares a hole into the spot, so that I am found almost immediately. All the girls have to do is look for Shelby. When I hid under the computer desk, Zekie crawled in with me while I crouched in the knee hole waiting to be found. All I had to do was point at the spot beside me and make a down motion and we were hidden. Zekie was the perfect guest on our visit. He really is a good dog if I am with him.

    Zekie resting after Hide and Go Seek.

    On to why I will never be too old for dogs. The main reason is that I think it would kill me to be without a dog. How could I survive without a constant companion who thinks everything I do is wonderful and is happy to see me at all times? Dogs are mental health aides! So, what are some ways to pull this off for the older individual?

    One. Stay healthy and active as much as you can. The better your health and activity level, the longer you will be able to care for a dog. (Or any animal.) The dog comes with built in health benefits. You should exercise and walk your dog. This will help to keep you both moving longer. There are studies that prove that people with pets age better than those without. Not just physically, but mentally as well.

    Two. Downsize to a smaller or less active breed or mix of dog. Note that the two things do not go hand in hand. A French Bull Dog and a Jack Russell Terrier are similar in size, but you are not getting the same level of dog. The terrier is highly active, mentally and physically. They are a lot of dog in a small package. Many young people cannot handle this type of dog. Shelters were full of them after the television show starring a well-trained Jack Russell, Wishbone, rose to popularity. The Frenchie on the other hand is a low energy dog that needs only short walks. And then, you have the greyhound (approximately 55-80 lbs.) who is affectionately known as a couch potato. Do your research. There is a dog who is appropriate for nearly everyone.

    Three. Who says you have to get a puppy? There are adult dogs who are in need of a home. Many through no fault of their own. Rescues and shelters have staff or volunteers who can help you choose a dog that fits your lifestyle. They know the personalities and habits of the dogs in their care and can guide you in picking a new best friend who is suitable for you. Some rescues even have Seniors for Seniors programs. This is when a senior dog is paired with a senior person. The rescue retains ownership of the dog and covers vet bills. The senior person provides a home for the dog and all daily care including food, walks, general grooming, etc. The person keeps the dog for the lifetime of the dog. Another benefit of this situation is, if something happens to the person, they know the dog will be taken care of. Someone from the rescue will come get the dog in this case and it will be rehomed or remain in foster care. It’s a win-win for all involved. Harder to place senior dogs get loving homes and the older person has a dog for companionship without the worry of expensive vet bills that can plague an older dog. The rescue I am involved with, Northeast Ohio Shetland Sheepdog Rescue (NEOSSR), has such a program. Public donations make such programs possible. Here is a link about our rescue, complete with a donation button! https://www.neossr.org/ Our rescue tries to help in whatever way is best for the individual and the dog. Some of our senior families have needed temporary help in caring for their dogs. We have had a team of rotating volunteers show up to walk a dog for someone recovering from surgery until he was back on his feet. Right now, we have a dog in foster care because the owner was hospitalized from a fall and is in a facility for rehab. The foster mom takes the dog the facility to visit its owner occasionally. We hope the owner and dog can both go home again but if not, we will be here to care for the dog. By the way, the foster mom was on her way to pick up this dog from a neighbor within hours of NEOSSR receiving the call for help. Our members are awesome!

    Four. Consider being a foster parent rather than having your own dog. You get the joy and rewards of having a dog around without the full-scale commitment. This option would also have veterinary care of the dog covered by the shelter or rescue. And though it may be painful when the dog gets adopted, you know that you gave the dog love and a home while he was waiting for his forever home. Most groups do give their foster families first rights to adopt if you happen to fall in love with your pup while you have him. And this happens often enough that there is a term for it. You are a foster failure. I have been a foster failure with several dogs. It is a term of endearment in the rescue world, and I am proud to be a member of this group. In fact, Shelby, Zekie, and Claire are foster failures. It can be a good way to try out a dog to see if he is a fit for your family. Many groups have a foster-to-adopt option. If the dog absolutely is not a fit for your home even on a foster basis, the group will take it back. It is helpful if you can keep the dog until it gets adopted or at least until the group can find another foster home. There are usually those of us crazy enough to foster most any dog. I have had to put up some foster limitations since we’ve had Zekie, and he is so much to handle. I would take them all, but sometimes you have to do what is best for the family and this includes the whole family, canines and felines as well!

    Thanks for sticking with me to the end. My route can be rather circuitous as I have lots of random thoughts that get recorded along the way. Sometimes those can be the most valuable, and I hope, enjoyable. My goal was to give you options and lots to think about. May peace, and good health, be with you.

    You can sign up to receive an email when I publish a new post if you want to follow along with the blog. There is an option for this on the top right-hand side of my blog page. https://sanctuary-acres.com/

    Never Too Old for Dogs

    Dogs & Other Animals, Thoughts On Life, , , ,

    I turned 60 years old recently. I did not see this as a big deal. After all, I’m not even old enough to qualify for Medicare. I fall into that donut hole that catches some of us between retirement and age 65. If the government does not see me as being of concern for health care, I should still be young, or at least middle aged, right? I’m going with it. I’m young! All in all, I do feel pretty good for my age. I don’t suffer too many aches and pains or other concerns. I do feel blessed about this.

    I credit part of still feeling young to the fact that I have a little brother who is 16 years younger than me. When he was in college, I was in my mid-30’s. Since I was his sister, it seemed natural for us to run around doing things together sometimes. We spent many a Friday night hanging out at the local Borders bookstore together. Ok, maybe mentioning Borders, dates me a little. That store has been gone for years and a sad thing it is. My brother and I also spent some afternoons at Lake Erie and took a trip to North Carolina to see the Biltmore and Colonial Williamsburg. We went to local festivals and events in northeast Ohio where we live. Including a few trips to the local Buzzard Festival when we would get up at 4:30 in the morning to be there for the first sighting of the turkey buzzards returning to the area for the season.

    As my brother became an adult and had his own family, complete with his wife and my two nieces, they all continued to keep me young of heart and mind. When you are playing with two little girls, it is hard to feel old. There is so much laughter and excitement. And all that crawling around on the floor and playing hide and go seek probably helps keep me flexible. Crouching behind furniture and hiding beneath clothes behind the closet door is sure to help. In case you haven’t guessed, my brother and I have always been, and continue to be, quite close. I’ve heard it said that everyone needs a “bandaid” person in their lives. Someone who thinks you can do no wrong and supports you through everything. We are that person for each other.

    Now that my daughter is an adult, she helps keep me young too. It is true, a daughter is someone who grows up to be your best friend. And when you have a daughter who is supportive and always willing to listen and cheer you on, you have a built-in support system. When my daughter, who is the next generation, wants to hang out with me and do things together, doesn’t this mean that I am young? We are enjoying the same things, so this means I have interests of a young person, right? I choose to believe that it does.

    Zekie, Claire, Baxter, Shelby, and Cassius

    I also believe that having five dogs, and three cats, keeps me young. The number of dogs varies sometimes, if we are pet sitting or fostering another dog or two. I read a book a while back that had the following quotes. I’m sorry, I did not write down the author’s name, just the words, but they are not mine.

    “I’m ten years older than when I brought home my last dog…and I hope I have it in me to be there for one more… I am almost sixty. What if I just don’t have the energy to keep up with the physical demands of a young dog?”

    I read this and I thought, wait, what? I am not having trouble handling my dogs and I am nowhere near done having dogs. In fact, I am still rescuing dogs and my specialty is dogs with behavioral issues. This is a part of who I am, and I don’t see that everchanging. I can’t even imagine ever having only one dog. (Don’t worry, my daughter says if anything ever happens to us, she wants ALL the dogs. Yes, she is definitely my daughter.)

    I will concede that there may come a day when I can no longer handle the large or troublesome dogs. I have a plan! When that day comes, I will get Pomeranians, and maybe a whippet and a French Bull Dog. It’s good to have a plan, isn’t it? Actually, our most difficult dogs have never been our biggest ones. And the most difficult dog of my life (Zekie!) has been a 35 pounder! Size is not a precursor to ease or difficulty. Small dogs are of course, easier to pick up when needed.

    Zekie

    And in reference to the above quote, I do not find it necessary to get my dogs when they are young. Young dogs are fun, but old dogs are equally rewarding. Bottom line, I have always been, and will ever be, a dog girl.

    So, from this 60 year old woman, you’ll have to watch and see what I get up to next. Because I am nowhere near done making a difference in the world. I have many things to do and try and see what trouble I can get into next.

    Take care, my friends!

    The Magic of Christmas

    Thoughts On Life, , , , ,
    Christmas scene

    I love Christmas time! As wonderful as the present is, it’s nice to revel in some nostalgia and revisit old traditions. I think Christmas reawakens a little bit of the child in all of us. I remember Christmas’ past and experiences I shared with my mother who is long gone. I so enjoy getting out the Christmas decorations. They bring back so many memories.

    The photo above is a time capsule of sorts. The Santas were given to me by many people and as I set them out, I have fond thoughts of each person who gave them to me. Several are from Lucinda, one of my group of college pals who met at Kent State University, Tuscarawas Campus in the early 1980’s. There were four of us girls who hung together over the years. We got together every year with families in tow, for a Christmas party up until a few years ago when two of the original four were no longer with us. Another of those Santas is from Tina who is one of the friends who has passed. There is a Santa and tree that is actually a salt and pepper shaker set. Those are from my stepfather Sam, who passed in 1995. The Mongolian Santa and the Nordic Santa are from my sister-in-law Annie. I am no longer married to her brother and don’t see her as often as I once did, but still consider her to be a great friend and all-around wonderful person. The little Noah’s Ark tree is from my husband’s family, and I find it to be adorable.

    By the way, the painting on the wall was done by my husband. He made the frame too. Is he a talented guy, or what?

    Christmas scene

    This scene above resides on one of the two mantels in our house. Again, the Santas and the snow globe are from my friends Lucinda and Tina. Tina gave me the one holding all the puppies. She said it reminded her of me. Yes, my friends knew me well! I found the bells in my parents’ basement when we were cleaning out their house. I took them home because I loved them. The copy of the Currier and Ives print in the back is from Mumsey’s house. She was my first grandmother-in-law and I remember her fondly every time I look at this picture. This picture is in my office the rest of the year. I have always liked Currier and Ives (and winter), so I never put it away. The Santa holding the puppies is out in my office the rest of the year too. Just because it makes me happy.

    Mr. Potato Head!

    And speaking of Christmas memories, I used to ask for a Mr. Potato Head, but I never got one. I think my mom just forgot about it. Well, my nieces got a Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head and what fun I had! The creation above is mine. This is what happens when you let a scientist play with toys. You end up with something weird and non-traditional looking, just because.

    My friends, I wish each of you the magic of Christmas, whether it comes from fond memories or new experiences. I hope you are blessed with both with holiday season.

    A Busy Weekend

    Country Life, Dogs & Other Animals, Gardens, , , , ,
    Sheltie mix
    Zekie is a happy boy!

    It seems like I have nothing going on for the longest time and then everything happens at once. Most of my days consist of watering, gardening and taking care of animals. Maybe picking some vegetables and cooking. And then suddenly I am a social butterfly. We had three things scheduled over the weekend!

    Petting a dog
    Shelby getting pats.

    It started on Friday when my sister-in-law came with my nieces for lunch and a swim in the pool. This is an end of summer, pre-back to school tradition for all of us. I make a fancy lunch, lol…not! I make what I know the girls will like. We had peanut butter and jelly, cucumbers, and my older niece’s favorite, barbeque potato chips. I know the girls are growing up because this year they even ate cheese quesadillas that I made. We finished the meal off with homemade sundaes consisting of cookies and cream ice cream, brownie bits, Cool Whip, and chocolate sauce on top. Yum!

    I caught my younger niece who claims to be afraid of dogs, leaning over to pet Shelby several times. Actually, she hasn’t been afraid of Shelby in a long time. Shelby has that effect on people. I have had more than one person who said they were afraid of dogs be okay around Shelby. She is so calm and reliable that people can sense it.

    The girls also each got a chance to play the drums before they went home. The drums are a hit with all the kids that come over. I used the time to catch up with my sister-in-law. She is awesome. I love visiting with her. I wish everyone enjoyed their family as much as I enjoy mine!

    On Saturday, I attended our annual sheltie rescue picnic at a member’s home. It is great to visit with other members in person, especially after so many Covid induced Zoom meetings. Dogs are also welcome at the picnic. I took Zekie, Shelby, and Baxter. Cassius and Claire had to stay home. I felt bad for them but three dogs is the limit of what I can handle by myself. The photo at the top is of Zekie at the picnic. He was so happy to go away with his momma. Any day that I am not out of his sight is a good day for him. Shelby went because she is never any trouble, and she is my right-hand girl. Although Baxter is not a sheltie, he has been to every sheltie rescue picnic that I have gone to, and he is the ranking senior dog of our pack. All three dogs were well behaved, and I was proud of them. Zekie even got along with all the other dogs that showed up. He wagged and sniffed every time there was a new arrival. Sometimes I see him watch Shelby and Baxter, to see what their reaction to new arrivals and unexpected things are.

    The people in our rescue group are the best. They are a supportive, kind, thoughtful, caring group of people and I am honored to call many of them friend. This group of people really is in it for the dogs, not the glory.

    And on Sunday, there was even more to look forward to. We went to my daughter’s house and hung out with her and her family. I love hanging out with my daughter. I understand where the saying “A daughter is someone who grows up to be your best friend” came from. We looked at flowers in her gardens, ate pizza, and talked and talked. A fine day. This time Baxter, Zekie, and Cassius got to go along. Baxter and my daughter have a mutual adoration, so he had to go. Zekie must be near me at all times, so he went too. And Cassius got to go because he had to stay home the day before. And don’t think he wasn’t mad at me for having to stay home from the picnic. When he got up on the couch that evening, he put his head in my husband’s lap and not mine which is highly unusual. You must pay, mummy!

    Although the weekend was wonderful, life is now back to normal. Watering and gardening have resumed. Our efforts are beginning to pay off. Look at the size of this tomato! We tend to like the striped tomatoes best. They are juicy and sweet without all the acid of the red tomatoes. This one is a pineapple tomato and they do grow to be large. I believe this is the largest and most perfect one we have grown. I went to the garden looking for a tomato big enough to cover the bun for our sandwiches at dinner. This one was actually too big! No complaints here. We will enjoy it sliced with tomorrow’s lunch.

    Peace to you, my friends.

    Pineapple tomato
    Pineapple tomato

    Views from the Patio, 7/23

    Country Life, Gardens, Thoughts On Life, , , , , ,
    View from the patio
    My view from the patio this morning.

    It’s a patio type of morning for me. The weather is predicted to be hot today, and for nearly the entire country, not just here. So, I am spending some time outdoors before things heat up. My trusty canine companions are with me, except for Shelby who opted to stay in the house.

    Due to some recent rains, I have been able to skip watering for the past several days saving me hours of work. What a treat! Except for the container plants. They look droopy by afternoon and long for a splash of water on their roots. We oblige them because we do not want unhappy hibiscus, mandevillas, gardenias, and such. They make views from the patio so much better!

    Patio view
    Patio time!

    I have been thinking about the nature of friends in current times. Relationships have changed. I’m not sure if this is for good or bad. Probably a little of each as most things are or maybe only different.

    I ponder why they have changed. My first thought is, we live in an electronic age. My second thought is we live in the time of Covid. Both have certainly changed things. People have cell phones and computers. Even most television viewing is by streaming rather than a live broadcast so we don’t even all get our news at the same time. We no longer use face to face interactions for the majority of our communications unless you count Zoom meetings and Facetime. We text, we email, and occasionally call. I am a believer that texts and emails can make life easier, but they also cause problems. Some emails are lost, but the sender doesn’t know it. If the message does arrive, vocal nuances and facial expressions do not accompany it so the meaning may be mis-taken. Sending, “That’s great”, does not convey the sarcastic tone that may, or may not be implied. Irony and a questioning lilt that is implied with a tone of voice is lost. Misunderstandings occur and feelings get hurt. I imagine this must be something we have all experienced. I do believe that electronic communication is a beneficial and powerful tool. We just need to take care with how we use it.

    Keeping in touch with friends electronically is the new norm. I don’t feel that I have as many close friends now because we are texting and Facebooking, but not really visiting. This is exacerbated by Covid protocols. I am just as guilty of this as anyone. But it does make for a different type of relationship. Or maybe part of it is the natural progression as we get older, we don’t have the same intensity of friendships because we all have our own families and lives to take care of.

    When I was younger, I had friends that I frequently spent time with. Even entire weekends. We went places and did things and were a regular part of each other’s lives. Fast forward to today. Does this still hold true? Not so much. Admittedly, two of my closest friends of my adult life have both passed away. So, it’s beyond my, or their, control that we don’t hang out.

    On the flip side, I have many more friends than I ever did. These friends are more of the acquaintance variety. I have made most of them virtually. Or I may have met them in person once and we became friends via Facebook. I have made friends through other friends, at parties, at animal rescue events, and through other activities I have been involved in. People that I would only have had contact with one time, have been converted into regular acquaintances.

    Some of my friends, I have never met in person at all. We hooked up through different Facebook groups or maybe as friends of friends or we find we share common interests. I have even had some of these virtual friends for years. And these friendships are important to me. I care about these people, and I believe they care about me. We “like” each other’s posts and frequently have conversations about life experiences and day to day life. In times of trouble or sadness, we offer each other words of comfort and support. One of my Facebook friends that I have never met in person was recently diagnosed with an aggressive and rare form of cancer. (Don’t give up, sometimes the doctor’s prognosis is wrong and there is more time to be had!) I am saddened by my friend’s diagnosis and think of her several times a day. My point is these types of friendships can have great value and be meaningful too.

    I am blessed to live in an age where I can have friendships with people that live far away from me in distance, but we are close in spirit. I have reconnected with childhood friends and classmates, relatives that live far away. People I wouldn’t have the chance to be in touch with otherwise.

    Now don’t get me wrong. I still have some friends that I visit with in person. Even a few new ones since I retired. And family members that I hang out with regularly. In fact, one of the best things is being friends with your adult daughter and your considerably younger brother and all the extended families that now come with them. I also know I am blessed that I love my family members and love spending time with them.

    So, what is a friendship? I think it means different things to different people. May your friends be as dear to you as mine are to me.

    Peace be with you!

    Garden Gate
    Appreciate all your friends!

    Be a Covid Warrior!

    Thoughts On Life, ,

    Selfie

    It is becoming safe to go out into the world and do a few things again for those of us who have been fortunate enough to receive our Covid vaccines. Life is no where near a return to normal though. Still, I am glad for those family members that I have been able to see in these past two weeks.

    I went five months without seeing my daughter and three months without seeing my brother. And it was hard. I know others have had it so much worse, but at times this seemed like a lifetime. Time between visits was longer during the winter because it was too cold and snowy to meet outside often. This is the first year ever that my brother and I have celebrated our December birthdays outdoors. Mercifully, it was in the mid 50’s that day when we met under a park pavilion for cake. And our families were so glad to see each other that we were thrilled! After that, visits became farther apart while we waited for either warmer weather or vaccines, whichever came first.

    One trick that I used to make myself feel better when my brother and I could not get together for a visit, was to wear this purple sweatshirt (above) that he gave me as a gift a couple of years ago. Wearing it makes me think of him and feel a little bit closer. It reminded me of getting together and knowing that we will do so again. Ditto, for a pair of earrings my daughter gave me.

    Yes, these are just physical things but they are symbols. Signs of caring and hope. Do you have any coping mechanisms that seem silly like this, but help you?

    My husband and I have received both doses of our Covid vaccines (Moderna). We are blessed and relieved. After the first dose, my arm hurt for two or three days but didn’t interfere with any activities. After the second dose, I had a headache and felt chilled during the first night. So I just went back to sleep. The second day I had a headache. The headache wasn’t that bad. I have had much worse.

    This was the price to pay for freedom. And we have the knowledge that we are directly helping to stop the spread of the pandemic. Each one of us who receives the vaccine is a warrior against disease and possible death from infection. We need an army of warriors to emerge victorious.

    Will you be part of the solution? Be a Covid Warrior!

    A Bit of Pandemic Relief

    Country Life, Thoughts On Life, , , ,

    Snowman
    We can build a snowman

    Today provided a bit of relief in my pandemic world. My husband and I drove up to visit my nieces and my brother and his wife. We met outside and stayed socially distant for a brief visit of about 40 minutes. This is Ohio and it was cold.

    What do you do on an outdoor winter visit? You have a snowball fight and build a snowman! It was rejuvenating for me to watch the girls run and play, and to hear them laugh. The sound of their joyful laughter makes me laugh too.

    The drive there took as long as the visit lasted but it was so worth it! And I scored a pack of hazelnut chocolate Oreos out of the deal. In my pre-Covid life when I would babysit the girls, I would always sample each of the flavors of Oreos on hand during my visit. Since it has been some time since I have been able to deplete my brother’s stock, he gave me some Oreos. No wonder I love him. (Truth be told, I would love him even if he were Oreo-less. Don’t tell!)

    It was great to see my sister-in-law too. She is so nice and kind and thoughtful. God, I miss her.

    I am blessed to have wonderful family that I truly enjoy spending time with. For now, that time must come in bits and pieces, but this will not always be so. Next goal, see my wonderful daughter. I am missing her too.

    But for today, building a snowman and having a snowball fight is enough. Take joy where you can find it.