What’s on my mind this morning? I’m afraid it’s nothing good. We were sitting around discussing the state of the world over morning coffee. One of my thoughts was how people in general, don’t seem to treat each other with respect anymore. Now maybe that makes me an old griper, spouting “Back in my day…”, but I’m going to share just one of the ways that I don’t think we treat each other as kindly as we could.
Often, when I am out in public, the grocery store parking lot, or a sidewalk downtown, I hear people cursing. And not just at each other, although that happens too. They are using curse words as adjectives, and frequently. The swearer doesn’t care or even seem to notice if there are children present, or anyone else who may be offended. They are sometimes in their own little world talking to their companion and don’t have a clue who is nearby. Other times, I think the person is using public swearing on purpose, because they think it makes them look cool and gives them a certain status. It does indeed give them a certain status in my mind, but I’m pretty sure it was not what they were going for.
Now lest you think me a prude, let me state that I too curse. I do it when I am angry, or to make a point. I curse with intent! And I do not curse in the presence of children or when I am representing someone else like an employer or social group. I try not to curse when I am in public in case, I may offend someone. And I do not want to be known as someone who randomly blurts out curse words instead of using words that are more descriptive and better suit my purpose. I was taught that people who use curse words are not intelligent enough to find other words to express themselves. This may make me old by the standards of today’s world. Those of you reading this who disagree, will at least know why some of us are offended by the everyday use of curse words. And no, I don’t think all of you who curse are stupid. The times have changed along with the generations as is the way of the world.
Our actions and our words set the tone for how others in the world see us. It’s not a bad idea for all of us to do a check on these and think about how the image we are presenting to the world aligns with the one that we want to present. Are we fostering the persona of who we want to be? If yes, you’re good to go. If not, maybe you want to make some adjustments. I know that I for one, always have room for improvement.
Now that all the hubbub from the holidays is dying down, it is setting in that the new year is upon us. I am looking forward to this year being a better one for us as 2023 was rather difficult. And I intend to make it a better one.
I titled this article Goals for the New Year since I have never been a big fan of making New Year’s resolutions. I always looked at it as a poor excuse not to set goals during the rest of the year. I would make New Year’s resolutions like, “Eat more chocolate”, as my form of protest. I know, what a rebel I am. I have set three goals that I plan to work on this year. We’ll see how far I get. Something is better than nothing, right?
Goal #1 “Daily writing/journaling for a calendar year perspective.”
The photo above is the inside cover page of my journal. The journal was a gift from my daughter last year and I can’t think of a better use for it. I have wanted to do some writing and following my life through a year seems appropriate with how tied to the weather our lives are here. What we do each day is very weather dependent. At this time of year, we hike. We check the weather forecast to see when the warmest temperature occurs during the day. We also check the predicted precipitation times. The goal is to stay warm and dry. During the warmer months, this flips, and we look for the cooler hours. The elements also play a part in our choice of trails for the day. Will this affect how muddy the trails are? Does the weather increase the chance for flies? How does this impact which shoes I wear? There is a bit of science to it. It’s not a good idea to just put on sneakers and run out the door.
The weather affects our daily decisions and when we do what during gardening season too. I suppose we make our daily plans somewhat like farmers do. Infact, maybe we are a sort of farmer, except for our own enjoyment and not for profit. When it’s hot, we work outside in the mornings as much as possible. I try to limit afternoon chores outdoors as I am a baby when it comes to enduring heat. Sometimes it is necessary. Certain tasks can’t wait. If it’s been rainy, you mow when it’s dry, even if it’s 90 degrees.
Not all of my writing will be about these physical things. I also like to ponder thoughts and emotions, and pretty much anything. Like, why do I sometimes dream that the university is coming to take my college degree back? I once had someone else tell me that they’ve had this dream too. So far, I have missed one day of journaling. Not a biggie. Onward!
Journal illustration
Goal #2 “Meditate each morning on: being kind AND, how can I spread joy today?”.
This has been going pretty well. During the brief meditation (I am starting with just two or three minutes), I focus my thoughts on drawing in peace to be stable enough myself, to be able to project positivity to others. Followed by several thoughts of a “Be Kind” mantra. Then I thought about something I might be able to do to spread kindness as I am going about my day. I plan to extend the length of this meditation as the year progresses.
If I have trouble falling asleep at night, I have begun thinking the mantra of “Be Kind” then too. If I am awake anyway, I may as well put my time to good use. I don’t know if this goal is having any impact on my life or those around me yet. I find it hard to believe that there won’t be at least a few positive experiences from it. I believe kindness makes the world a better place. And we definitely need our world to be a better place right now.
Goal #3 “Get another one of our dogs certified as a therapy dog.”
This goal is totally different from the other two, but I still deem it a very worthy one. Shelby is still certified with Therapy Dogs International and works occasionally. I don’t work her very often because she will be 14 years old next month. She is still very happy to be working with mom when I do take her on a visit. I used to have hopes that Zekie would be my next therapy dog, but his anxiety never receded to a level where I can trust him to be reliable to my commands. He is very obedient, and I believe he could probably pass the test tomorrow. That still does not mean he would be a good therapy dog. He is obedient to my commands, but I must give him commands all the time. If I did not anticipate an inappropriate action, it could be a problem.
I think the next dog I will try to train to pass the test is Claire. She will not be an easy dog to train for the required exercises, but I think we can do it. She is slow to respond to training. She is not stupid, she just doesn’t seem to understand what she is told. Either that or she just doesn’t want to do it. We will get there. One of my biggest qualms about using her for therapy work, or anything else, is the fact that she gets car sick if we drive more than about six miles. That’s why I don’t take her to my brother’s or my daughter’s homes. She would be well behaved once there but would get sick along the way. Claire also has a penchant for waiting until we are pulling into the driveway of our destination and get sick as I put the car in park. Other than hiking the only place Claire gets to go is grandma’s because it’s not very far.
We have a storm heading our way and I see giant snowflakes out my window. The winds are starting to kick up and I’ve received an email from the electric company on how prepare for possible power outages. I should see about making dinner now. Just in case.
Happy belated New Year to you all. May your resolutions, if you make them, be going well!
Shelby spreading joy at an elementary school while we read to the kids.
This meme came across my Facebook feed this morning. And while at first glance, it looks like a good idea, it is not a viable option for any of us. We have all been struggling because of the ongoing and increasing outbreaks of the coronavirus. And now our country, the good, old US of A is in political distress in a way that it never has been before. Just when I thought things could not get any worse, here we are. (Giving you something positive here Good Things in a Pandemic World ).
My ever problem solving mind insists that I try to find a way to fix this. Realistically, I realize that I can not fix this. But surely there are things that we can do to make the world a better place. I will list a few things that I have come up with to make the world a little more pleasant for at least a few people. Maybe you can join me and we can improve our corner of the world for a handful of folks. It is a start. And a small change can make ripples that chart a new course.
Call, text, or email a friend, family member, or acquaintance that is isolated and/or could use cheering up. We can all benefit from a little more contact from our fellow human beings these days. You may save someone from thoughts of despair. Or, you may just make someone’s day happier. Either is a win.
Send a letter or card with the same intent as above. Everyone loves to get mail. The written word can be read over and over to extend that feeling
Smile at people and be kind when you go out in public. We don’t see others much these days but even curbside pickup gives an opportunity for interaction. With your mask on, a smile still extends to your eyes. And a few kind words delivered along with a thank you can make everyone feel happier. The recipient and the giver.
Cut people some slack. We are all under extra stress. People forget things, and get grumpy and snap. Be kind. We’ve all been there.
Try to understand other people’s point of view. You don’t have to agree with it. But trying to understand keeps us all human.
Adopt a pet. This will make the world a better place for the animal. (Make sure you can make a lifetime commitment to the animal so its world continues to be better!) You will likely be happier and feel a sense of purpose. And as for making other people happier, I’m sure those shelter or rescue people will be having a better day too!
Pray for those you can’t help. Feelings of goodwill are certain to benefit them and you.
Share. Numbers 1 through 7 involve feelings and goodwill in one form or another. If you can’t get to that point yet, share something physical. Donate clothing or other items to a homeless shelter. Donate food. Share books that you have read. If you want to remain totally hands-off, donate money by mail or on-line.
None of these actions is earth shattering. They are all relatively easy to do. You may think that none of them will change the world, but who are we to say? Kind words at a pivotal time can affect a person’s life altering decision. And that person could in turn have an affect on another’s life altering choice. And so on.
It is especially important to be kind in these unprecedented times. Just take the next right, or in this case, kind, step. Peace be with you.
Can you tell which of the four dogs above is leash reactive?
Leash reactivity, at least in the case of my dog, causes him to lunge, growl, and bark excessively at other dogs, people, or fast moving objects like cars, bicycles, or motorcycles. He is fine walking with any of our dogs. He is fine if people or dogs come in our house or gated dog yard to visit, be they known or unknown to us.
And this prompts my apology to the person we encountered at the intersection up the hill near the fire station of our township. I was walking four of our dogs this morning and a car approached the intersection where I was getting ready to cross the street. I waved the car on. The driver of the car waved me on, and kept waving, insistent that I should go ahead. This left me with no choice but to proceed. Very thoughtful, right? Indeed it was. The only problem was, this left me trying to walk with two calm dogs, one dog that was barking, lunging, and jumping at the car in an attempt to reach it and no doubt scratch it’s paint job, plus one dog who was barking because the reactive dog was going into freak out mode. So, I apologize to the kind driver, if the expression on my face was not warm and appreciative. I had my hands full and was doing my best. Oh, I was also carrying two bags of poop on my way to the nearby dumpster at the time.
The reactive dog has shown improvement. It is just slow and ongoing. I have learned that if I go into the grass about four feet off the road, cars can pass without incident. Usually. This sometimes puts me in people’s front yards. I hope they don’t mind. It requires keeping a vigilant eye out for approaching vehicles in front of and behind us. I need to have ample time to get the required distance off the road, and must remain calm while doing so as not to insight a reaction
This is the kind of dog that is not for the first time dog owner, the physically weak, or the faint of heart. This is a labor of love. Ironically, if I kept the dog at home all the time, he would be friendly 100% of the time. Even with visitors. But, I want more for him, so we walk and try different training techniques. A work in progress.
By the way, the leash reactive dog is Zekie in the upper right hand corner.
I’ve been struggling with something recently. I like to think that I’m a nice person. I try. But I’m not so sure that I succeed.
I had a friend that I used to talk to from time to time. We would do a few things together. We had some things in common. Dog causes and activities, go figure.
My friend made a few political comments and I discovered that we did not share the same political opinions or support the same politicians. I still cared about my friend but decided it would be best to avoid her for a while, until the political climate changed and such issues were not hot topics.
If I heard from my friend, I was always polite, but we didn’t do things that we had done before. Well, I learned recently that my friend died. This should not have come as the shock to me that it did. This friend was not a young person.
This gives me cause to ponder if perhaps I am not the kind of person that I thought I was, and have strived, and failed to be. I think now that I should have still gone places and done things with my friend. If the subject of politics arose, I could have said “let’s not talk about that. Let’s talk about something else.”
People are certainly allowed to have their own opinions. They don’t need to be the same as mine. I don’t need every one of my friends to think exactly like me. It would be a boring world. Another thought-how will the world solve various issues without discussion and multiple insights?
I do not have the answers to these questions. But I have learned that I need to be a better friend, and more tolerant. Maybe not accepting of some ideas, but caring enough to still be there.
I debated whether to share these thoughts as they are rather personal. I decided that maybe someone else can benefit from my experience. How will you feel if you discover that it’s too late to make a different choice?
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. – The Dalai Lama
I have a day planner/journal that I use to try to keep a record of at least one kind act that I have performed for someone else each day. The idea being that it helps to keep me mindful. If I know I need to record something then I keep an eye out and look for opportunities. The journal helps me to be a little less self centered and to think about others. Now lest you think that I will have a book of 365 kind acts at the end of the year, I must admit that I miss many days. But truly, it is better to have done something, than nothing.
For today’s kind act, I was going to record that I took a day off from work to watch one of my nieces, who is 16 months old. Above is my face upon returning home so you know that it was a thoroughly enjoyable and fun day.
Upon contemplation, I realized it is a cop out to record this as a kind act that I have done for someone else. We played, we napped, we ate lunch, we went for a walk. Then we played some more. I was blessed with the opportunity for a bonding experience with my youngest niece. This was a kind act for myself!
I even got to take two of the dogs, Shelby and Nikki with me, so I was able to spend my day off with them as well. The only thing that would have made it better would have been spending the day with both of my nieces. But the older of the two is in kindergarten this year. (I did not give her permission for this growing up but I guess I will not hold it against her.) It did result in a special day that was just for me and Younger Niece.
So I will need to find something else to record in my journal of kind acts. Perhaps I will log the fact that I did not curse or yell at people who cut me off in traffic. The little acts are sometimes the hardest!
“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. ” – The Dalai Lama
I thought this quote would be a good concept for us to contemplate today. If you are kind, you can make a difference. If you are not kind, you can also have a different type of impact. Who do you want to be? Choose wisely.
With all the angst and horrific things happening in our country and abroad, I felt compelled to do something. But I felt I could do nothing to have an impact. Then I came across the above quote on my Facebook memories. Great words from a humble woman who made a difference.
Makes you feel like you should perform some heroic or prophetic act doesn’t it? But she was talking about a simple act. What are some simple things that can be done?
Smile at someone.
Take a few minutes to listen to someone.
Tell someone you hope they have a nice day.
Bite your tongue instead of saying something mean or telling someone off.
Take a minute to write or email someone an uplifting note.
Tell a young person they are good at something.
The first few items could brighten the day of another person. A worthy goal in itself. A few simple, kind words might also be the difference between whether someone is so down or angry or depressed that they take a life. Be it their own or that of other/s.
A couple of the ideas could make the difference between whether someone pursues their talents and go on to make great discoveries or do things that change the world.
Sometimes it doesn’t take much to change a train of thought and a course of action. And you may never have a clue. Granted, most these simple ideas will not have such far reaching results. But what if just one time, one of them does?
I challenge you to do just one of these ideas. Or come up with some of your own. I would love to hear them. Create many ripples.
Think you can’t make a difference in someone’s life? Think again. Everyone can make a difference, even dogs! This is Shelby, my registered therapy dog, sitting outside the school where we go read to the kindergarteners. You can see that she’s quite proud to be wearing her “I’m a School Visitor” badge. We visit here once a month and I think that we teach the kids that reading is fun and dogs are fun. And accepting.
One boy is a student with special needs and each time we see him, his behavior is calmer. Last time he even sat with us and the other kids for a while. Now this may have nothing to do with Shelby but I can’t help but think she plays some small part.
I’ve taken other therapy dogs to a home for profoundly disabled children and I know for a fact that the dog calmed some of these children. Kids that aren’t normally verbal make sounds. And kids that don’t interact, pet the dog. I’ve seen the same reaction with older folks who don’t interact anymore. They will ask a question or call the dog over.
We all have a chance to make a difference in the lives of others every day. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture either. Just saying hello or sharing a smile can change the course of someone’s day. And you may never know. Your kind gesture affects someone so they are nicer to someone, and so on. Small acts can make big ripples.
I had the most wonderful experience this past weekend at a post funeral dinner. The funeral was for my one time mother-in-law (MIL), and forever mom and friend. The service was beautifully orchestrated by the aforementioned MIL. It was a fine send off, with some tears, and a whole lot of celebration of her life. And there was a lot to celebrate.
Afterwards, there was “the Luncheon”. This was a somewhat uncertain event for me because it would be the first encounter with my ex-husband since our divorce some 17 years previously. And calculating out just how long it had actually been, makes me wonder why I gave it any credence at all. That is one heck of a long time!
I have remained family and friends with the ex-husband’s relatives over these many years. They continued to play an important part in my life, even becoming friends with my new husband. This was as it should be. I got divorced from one person, not a family.
There were some minor concerns in my mind about how the whole day would go. I didn’t know how my reception would from my ex and his current wife. Over the years I had thought there were some negative thoughts and impressions of me, and no doubt at some point there were. That would be natural and expected.
However, at “the Luncheon” my ex’s wife approached me with something to say. And what she had to say was this, which I will paraphrase. “Thank you for coming. It was very kind of you to come. Insert MIL’s name, loved you and she would be happy that you are here.” There were a few other pleasantries of a similar nature passed back and forth but this was the crux of it.
I can’t think of a more kind, compassionate, heartfelt gesture she could have made. This was a true gift. I didn’t have to wonder any more how things would go. What a special person she has proven herself to be.
I take a lesson from this encounter. Be kind. Always. It makes the world a better place.
Sanctuary Acres 