Category Archives: Thoughts On Life

Emotions of Dogs

Dogs & Other Animals, Thoughts On Life,

Phoebe    Phoebe

Some people think dogs don’t have emotions and feelings. Look at Phoebe above. First we have the depressed, moping face. She gets this face when it has been a long time since she has gone for a car ride. Tell me the face on the right is not that of a happy dog. She can go from moping to happy in 0.5 seconds if you say the “C” word, as in c-a-r. Yes, we do lots of spelling around here. W-a-l-k, F-o-o-d, O-u-t.

  Nikki in car20150713_181953.jpg

Or how about these pictures of Nikki? Bored face and happy face. By the way, her happy face in this picture is because she is visiting with one of her friends at the nursing home. These visits always make her happy. Me too!

20151219_131114.jpg  Shelby

And how about Shelby’s sleepy face vs. her happy face? Even if you don’t attribute the same emotions to them that I do, you have to admit that they must be feeling different things in the two pictures. You must know someone to be able to read them. I think this is often true for dogs as it is in people.

Journey of the Apathy Warrior

Thoughts On Life,

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 Over the Christmas season I had my Caring Revolution that you can read here https://sanctuaryacres.wordpress.com/2015/12/01/the-caring-revolution/. I tried to do one nice thing every day to increase the presence of the Christmas Spirit. I posted the above quote to my Facebook page yesterday, thinking, why should it be only a holiday thing?  And so I shared it, thinking everyone could stand to benefit from this.

But then I thought some more. Rarely a good thing. So I shared this post, now what? Does it become buried in my newsfeed, never to be seen again, except perhaps next year in my Facebook memories? That’s not going to work for me. So I am going to keep a log in my Creativity Journal and try to do at least one good act every day to record. So far in 2016, three days have passed. I did a kind act to record on days 1 and 2 but nothing for the 3rd. Today is the 4th day and it is still early so I better get busy.

I will report in on this Journey from time to time with some specifics and let you know how it is going. Please feel free to join this army so that acts of kindness may be spread far and wide.

The face of an Apathy Warrior
The face of an Apathy Warrior

 

Caring Revolution, Part II

Dogs & Other Animals, Thoughts On Life, ,

I didn’t seem to be doing very well at performing caring acts during this holiday season.  I wasn’t sure if I didn’t remember the acts after I did them or if there just weren’t many acts of thoughtfulness. So I decided to keep a list. This turned out to be a very good idea because now I am looking for ways to be kind and show thoughtfulness so I can put it on my list. Maybe not the best motivation but acts become habits and this is a good thing.

First on my list was writing a note to a coworker on my special puffin notepad that I save for special occasions. I told her what a good job she always does of preparing some reports that I need to proofread every month. Her good job makes my life easier.

Stitch

Second on the list is taking in a family member’s cat for “two weeks” while they make accommodations for a change in living circumstances. I suspect this kitty will be here more than two weeks. Infact I suspect he will never leave. I’m ok with that. Our cat population is down. By the way, I am taking him to be neutered on Monday.

Also on the list, writing some personal heartfelt notes in Christmas cards. A number of people have shown me a great amount of compassion this year. Especially at the time of my Mother’s death. I have some pretty impressive friends and family.

This morning I made a call that I have been wanting to make to the local newspaper. They have a column called Sound Off where you can make comments that are published. I thanked our township folks for having the display of Christmas lights lit up when I drive by to go to work at 5 o’clock every morning. It always gives me a smile to start the day.

Nikki  Shelby

And no list of kind acts would be complete without my favorite, the therapy dog visits that Nikki, Shelby, and I make to our friends at the nursing home. I’m not sure it’s fair to count this as a kind act though because I get as much out of it as the friends that I visit.

So my goal for the rest of the holiday season is to continue doing kind acts to add to my list. May your list be long and equally as fulfilling. Merry Christmas, my friends.

Christmas Ramblings

Thoughts On Life, ,

Charlie Brown Hemlock

I call this our Charlie Brown Hemlock. We just transplanted it this year so it is still small. It reminds me of the scraggly tree from A Charlie Brown Christmas. That tree is little and scrawny and pathetic but everyone loves it.

Why do we all love this little tree? Perhaps because it represents the underdog and we can relate. The tree gets decked out in lots of finery and we don’t feel a connection with it anymore. I think many of us at times feel like the underdog so we can relate to this tree. We want people to accept us for who we are without getting all gussied up.

I  like that children’s cartoons teach us lessons of acceptance. If we can learn this when we’re young, the world just may be a kinder place.

Rudolph and Friends

My favorite Christmas cartoon is Rudolph. It also tries to teach us acceptance, of those who are different. If the folks of Christmas Town had been kinder, then Rudolph and Hermie wouldn’t have run away. Luckily they were two forgiving souls and helped the town’s folk when they needed it. I have always loved Rudolph and the message it sends. It became dear to me the year it aired on my birthday and I have watched it every year since. That’s quite a few viewings! My niece and I even watched it together one July. She was nuts like me. Or maybe just tolerant. Or perhaps she had already learned to be kind to those who are different. Anyway, it is a very fond memory.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings, and may you have a very  Merry Christmas!

The Caring Revolution

Thoughts On Life, ,

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Ok, it’s December 1, I think it’s safe to say the “C” word. The Christmas season is here. One of the things I do every year over this season is to get the above two books out and put some of the suggestions in them into action. They are full of good deeds and thoughts to do for, or share, with others. Be a bit of a Christmas angel if you will. Some of the items are physical acts, such as take Christmas cookies to your neighbors. Others have more to do with thoughts and how you treat people.

Sometimes I flip one of the books open at random and do what the suggestion says. Other times I look through the choices until I find one that strikes my fancy. I don’t manage to perform one of these acts every day but I figure, some is better than none. Just my little contribution to try to make the world a better place.

Readers, if any of you perform any thoughtful acts over this Christmas season, I would love to hear about them. Inspiration from others will feed the kindness and maybe we can have a Caring Revolution! Just post them in the comment section below. I challenge you to try it!

And for today, your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is below. It’s free and you can do it wherever you are. At first glance I thought it was an easy one, but then again maybe it’s not. Let your journey of spreading joy begin!

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Thoughts on Surviving Grief

Dogs & Other Animals, Thoughts On Life, ,

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I think everyone wants to know how to make the pain stop after losing someone dear. I have had a lot of experience in this regard in recent years, suffering a number of human, canine, and feline losses. I don’t think you can really make the pain go away. You might be able to distract yourself for a while or become numb for a time but the grief is still there. What does ultimately help is the passage of time.

So how do I cope? I realize that the love I shared with the one who is gone is proportionate to the pain I feel after their passing. In a twisted way the pain is a gift that I have because of the depth of love and relationship that was shared.  And with the especially meaningful relationships the grief morphs into a wistful longing of what was and keeps the memories fresh. The sharp pain does subside. It is replaced by these memories. I carry them with me and they become a part of who I am. I never do lose that hollow spot that they filled in life but the images help to keep them close to me so that they are always with me.

Each of these passings of a loved one takes a piece of my heart with it. You would think that after a while my heart would be all used up. This is not the case. I learn something about love each time and am able to love again and again. My heart and love have the capacity to grow. I hope that my emotional heart is getting bigger. I know it’s not getting any smaller.

Duncan-Best Smile Ever

Duncan was this soul mate and best friend for me. When he passed, it was all I could do just to drag myself around and do the bare necessities for days. My heart physically hurt for days too. My world seemed so empty. At every turn, he wasn’t there when he should have been. Two and a half years have gone by. The sharp pains are gone. I function and go about my life and enjoy it. I am happy. Life is good. Have I stopped thinking about Duncan? Not for a day. He is a part of who I am. He goes with me everywhere.

For me this relationship was with a dog. That is the case for some. Others have this experience with different beings. Anyone who was a major presence and part of your life might have the same effect.

Why do I write this? Because I am wallowing in grief? Definitely not. I write so that those experiencing something similar might take some comfort in it and so that those who don’t understand might gain some insight.

The ultimate gift, given and received, is taking that love and honoring it. Love is never wasted. Cherish it and put it to good use by continuing to spread it around.

Dakota

The Earrings, or Remember to be Kind

Thoughts On Life, ,

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These are my “Remember to be Kind to People” earrings. That’s what I think whenever I put these on. I will purposely wear them if I know I am going into a situation that is trying or where something may happen that will annoy me. These earrings have super powers that cause me to be kind. Or so I pretend.

Does anyone else do that? Assign thoughts and powers to inanimate objects? I have done it for years. In college I had an opal ring that I would focus on during exams and draw wisdom from the universe. Logically I know these claims are all in my mind. But they are useful if only because they help me focus my thoughts on matters at hand. A talisman if you will.

Back to the earrings. They had auspicious beginnings. I bought them on Harry London Day. If you would like to learn more about Harry London Day, read here https://sanctuaryacres.wordpress.com/2015/02/18/happy-harry-london-day/.  That special day is all about sharing and relationships and love. Each time I put them on, I remember the joy that day brought. I want to be responsible for spreading joy and love. And so I wear the earrings. Each time I put them on I think of them endowing me with the power to always be kind and conduct myself in a manner so that people know I care about them. If I know I am going to see a person that I find tries my patience, or into a situation that may be stressful, on go the earrings. And as I go throughout the day I occasionally remember that I have them on and check to make sure that I am behaving in a tolerant and thoughtful manner.

Although it seems silly to bestow earrings with characteristics that they obviously do not possess, if good comes of it, then it is indeed a magical thing!

Life is Good

Country Life, Gardens, Thoughts On Life, ,

Late Summer Urn

Things are changing noticeably around our property as fall approaches. In fact tomorrow is the first official day of fall. The plants in my large urn have completely filled in the space. The trailing, pale green vine is that of a sweet potato that now reaches the ground.

CleomesCleomes

The cleomes continue to provide quite a show. I’m very glad to have them in my rose bed because the roses barely bloomed at all this year. I am thinking that it was due to uncooperative weather and they will be back in full force next year.

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The cleomes are blooming in the bed back by our garden bench too. It seems that things we did not plant are doing best this year.  That would be the cleomes, snapdragons,  and butterfly bushes. What a gift they have been.

Butterfly bushes

This butterfly bush was so prolific that we can’t use the walkway here. We couldn’t bare to trim it back earlier because we took such joy from the hummingbirds, butterflies, hummingbird moths, and even bees that frequented it. It is later in the year and not many come now so the bush will soon get a haircut. These flying creatures provided some of my favorite entertainment over the summer.

Verbena Hydrangea

The verbena and hydrangea are still putting on quite a show. The hydrangea started from a small root piece that I bought for $3 at a discount store. They have grown into four large bushes that take up half of one our raised garden beds. Plants are amazing.

Harry Lauder Bed

My favorite part of the garden this evening though was seeing this new bed around our Harry Lauder walking stick. That’s the name of the tree. The species was named after a Vaudeville actor who had a curled walking stick, just like the branches on this type of tree. The stone in the back is from a burgundy vein of Pennsylvania blue stone. The new bed is what appears when you have a very impressive husband toiling while you are away. Also amazing.

What conclusion do I come to after my evening walk of seeing so many plants that grow by chance doing well rather than the ones that I planted? And new garden beds that appear as if by magic? Life is good.

 

The Grief and Growth of Loss

Dogs & Other Animals, Thoughts On Life, ,

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Losing  a pet is nearly  always  a  painful  thing. They  were  a member  of  our  family  who is  no longer  with  us.  This  death of a pet leaves a void, an emptiness  that  will  leave us forever  changed. I’ve  heard  those  who say they  will never  have  another  pet. That it is too  much pain  to go  through  again. Or that  they could  never  replace  their  beloved  with  another. Of course  they  can’t. That’s  not  the  point.

I don’t  understand  these  people. That’s  ok, they probably  don’t  need  for  me  to  understand  them. I  try  to  reframe the  loss of death  in a different  perspective. The  void that death leaves  is a gift  in a way. We were  blessed  to  have  a  presence  in  our  life  that  was so great  and  so valued that  it was capable  of  leaving  such  a   void. Over  time  the pain lessens. It becomes  less sharp and  eventually  becomes  more of an emptiness. But this emptiness  one day  begins to fill with  wonderful  memories. These  memories  will  be with us forever.

I  feel  that  it is  a  tribute  to  our lost one to some day  have  another  pet. Of course  they  do  not  replace  the  one  who  has  gone  before. They are a new being  that offers  their own  gifts. I feel  that  it would  be  selfish  of me to never have  another. Love  should  be  shared  with  the  living  who can  benefit. The love that  I  shared with  previous  pets, like  my beloved  Duncan pictured above, was such a wonderful  thing that  I  want  to  have  something  similar  with  another. Even  when Duncan  was still  alive I called him the greatest  love  of my life. Our bond was so meaningful  and  strong  that  I  recognized  it even  then.

I’ve  heard  people  say “I can’t  get over the loss  of (insert  name).” I’m  not  sure  that  I  want  to  get  over  such  a  loss. Pain does indeed  lessen but pain also  shows the  importance  of  what  was  lost. If I  didn’t  have  a great  love, I wouldn’t  suffer  a great  loss. Needing  to  recover  from this  pain and  fill  a void  makes the  loved one become  a  part of you  forever. And  with  each  memory  that  is melded  into  my heart, it mends. With each addition  my heart  grows. Until  one day I hope  my heart  will  be big enough  to  be filled  with  nothing  but love . This  is  the  legacy  and  tribute  that I want  to  leave  to the  ones  who have  gone  before.

The Mind Is a Scary Place

Dogs & Other Animals, Rescue Happenings, Thoughts On Life, ,

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Time for another look into the inner workings of my mind. Scary thought, isn’t it? The brave among you will keep reading.

I got another lesson in self control over the weekend. Someone called and wanted me to take their parents’ dog into rescue because said parents had their house re-carpeted. My first thought was, you’re kidding, right? Sadly, no. The caller went on to explain that the dog was now living outside in a kennel but it had a dog house. Like the dog house was some great gift that made them caring, compassionate human beings. Never mind that the dog was now probably wondering why he was suddenly relegated to live his life outside, away from his pack. Winter was coming the caller informed me so they wanted to turn the dog into rescue before it got too cold. Did they want a gold star? It seemed so.

I’m proud to say that I did not let any of the comments racing through my mind come out of my mouth. Some of the kinder among them were:  idiot, moron, are you serious? I bit my tongue and kept them to myself. Why? Because I’m a good person? No. Because I knew that if I alienated them, I would not get the dog who would then spend the winter cold and alone. So as is always the case for people who do dog rescue, it’s about the dog, not about me or anyone else. It’s about saving the dog. That’s why I continued to be pleasant and helpful.

Whenever something like this happens that my mind can’t come to peace with, I try to frame it by Gandhi’s Top 10 Fundamentals for Changing the World. If I can’t deal with it, I look to another source. Prayer sometimes helps me but I want to change the world so I put it into this formula.

  1. Change yourself. I’m trying to change myself, that’s why I didn’t blurt out my feelings.
  2. You are in control. I was in control for that moment. Yay, me!
  3. Forgive & let go. Well I don’t hate these people. That’s something.
  4. Without action you aren’t going anywhere. I referred the people on to our rescue intake coordinator to get this dog to us.
  5. Take care of this moment. See #2.
  6. Everyone is human. Maybe when these folks were younger they were better able to deal with having a pet. Maybe they have health problems that make a dog too much for them.
  7. Persist. Well, I will continue to rescue dogs. I don’t know if I really persisted in this instance.
  8. See the good in people and help them. Even though I don’t agree with the decision, I will try to help these people rehome their dog.
  9. Be congruent, be authentic, be your true self. Not sure if I did this by keeping my mouth shut. Helping the dog is what I do and who I am though.
  10. Continue to grow and evolve. I’m working on it.

 
Somehow I can’t help but feel I fell short with this interaction. I didn’t teach those involved anything. Maybe that is not my purpose. I will have to learn to be content with whatever comes of the situation. I will have to put more effort into learning how honor number 3 on the list. At the very least I got a notable story.