Tag Archives: Loss

Good Things in a Pandemic World

Books & Reading, Thoughts On Life, , , , ,
Good Things in a Pandemic Word. New Mug, Coffee, and a Good Book!
Good Things in a Pandemic World. New Mug, Coffee, and a Good Book!

As 2021 approaches, I am spending some time looking back over 2020.

For the most part, I have considered 2020 as a year of putting my life on hold. I understand that for so many others, it was a year of illness, death, and financial hardship. I have fared better than many.

As the year comes to a close, I am more easily able to look back and see the big picture. A reason why so many start the New Year off with resolutions to change and make improvements. If I see 2020 as a year of my life being on hold, that is my choice. That means I can also make the choice to see it differently.

What if this year was a gift of solitude and introspection? If times were usual I no doubt would have kept on working in areas that I was familiar with after my retirement last year. It is easier to continue on with what you know than to make decisions and strike out on a new path. I would have kept searching for jobs in the water treatment industry. That was my career, and I was good at it. But I suspect that I can be good at many things. Do I want to stay on that path and wonder about the road not taken? Only time will tell.

There are many things I enjoy. Mostly, dogs, books, gardening, and writing. And I enjoy sharing them with others. I am free to pursue any or all of these. I have always thought that I am an “odd bird” because I have a technical, scientific mind, which was how I earned my living for many years. I also enjoy many right-brained pursuits. I am not just a left-brain or right brain kind of girl. Both sides of my brain fight it out for expression. (That may be why I sometimes get into trouble because of a busy mind!)The year of 2020 provided me an opportunity to look at my life as whole and make decisions about what I want to do with it.

I have also reflected on the fact that I have always been somewhat of a loner. The social meme “It’s too peopley out there” is one I understand. A year of isolation and separation forced by a pandemic, makes me rethink this too. It’s true that I enjoy my alone time and always will. But I now have more appreciation for social gatherings and hanging out with friends and acquaintances. (I never doubted my love and need to hang out with family.) I miss my friends with their smiles and hugs and conversations. Friends can also give us new insights and cause us to realize there are other opinions and reactions to situations. Friends make us think outside of ourselves. They help us to be whole, better rounded individuals.

Staying isolated is hard. But if we look at this over the span of an entire lifetime, it is a brief snapshot of time. How we will see this time when we look back on this period in our lives, will certainly be different that how we feel about it right now. And we get to choose how we will reflect on this time, when the years have passed.

Many have lost loved ones to this coronavirus and I am deeply sorry for them. What a terrible thing. Those losses will mark this as a dark time in history. That does not mean we cannot find a light in the darkness and use it to guide our way.

May peace be with you.

The Grief and Growth of Loss

Dogs & Other Animals, Thoughts On Life, ,

image

Losing  a pet is nearly  always  a  painful  thing. They  were  a member  of  our  family  who is  no longer  with  us.  This  death of a pet leaves a void, an emptiness  that  will  leave us forever  changed. I’ve  heard  those  who say they  will never  have  another  pet. That it is too  much pain  to go  through  again. Or that  they could  never  replace  their  beloved  with  another. Of course  they  can’t. That’s  not  the  point.

I don’t  understand  these  people. That’s  ok, they probably  don’t  need  for  me  to  understand  them. I  try  to  reframe the  loss of death  in a different  perspective. The  void that death leaves  is a gift  in a way. We were  blessed  to  have  a  presence  in  our  life  that  was so great  and  so valued that  it was capable  of  leaving  such  a   void. Over  time  the pain lessens. It becomes  less sharp and  eventually  becomes  more of an emptiness. But this emptiness  one day  begins to fill with  wonderful  memories. These  memories  will  be with us forever.

I  feel  that  it is  a  tribute  to  our lost one to some day  have  another  pet. Of course  they  do  not  replace  the  one  who  has  gone  before. They are a new being  that offers  their own  gifts. I feel  that  it would  be  selfish  of me to never have  another. Love  should  be  shared  with  the  living  who can  benefit. The love that  I  shared with  previous  pets, like  my beloved  Duncan pictured above, was such a wonderful  thing that  I  want  to  have  something  similar  with  another. Even  when Duncan  was still  alive I called him the greatest  love  of my life. Our bond was so meaningful  and  strong  that  I  recognized  it even  then.

I’ve  heard  people  say “I can’t  get over the loss  of (insert  name).” I’m  not  sure  that  I  want  to  get  over  such  a  loss. Pain does indeed  lessen but pain also  shows the  importance  of  what  was  lost. If I  didn’t  have  a great  love, I wouldn’t  suffer  a great  loss. Needing  to  recover  from this  pain and  fill  a void  makes the  loved one become  a  part of you  forever. And  with  each  memory  that  is melded  into  my heart, it mends. With each addition  my heart  grows. Until  one day I hope  my heart  will  be big enough  to  be filled  with  nothing  but love . This  is  the  legacy  and  tribute  that I want  to  leave  to the  ones  who have  gone  before.