I was out lunching recently with two former coworkers. As you may or may not remember, I retired about four years ago. One of the ladies has gone on to another job, and the other still works for my former employer. I worked with one for many years and the other for only about 3 or 4 years. Doesn’t matter. We are all friends who enjoy seeing each other and doing things together. We are three very different people. That doesn’t matter either. We care and appreciate each other, support and cheer each other on. We all need such friends. And it’s even better when they know us and like us anyway!
During my career I earned and maintained three professional certifications that allowed me to operate Class I Drinking Water Treatment Plants, Class III Wastewater Treatment Plants, and do laboratory testing for such plants. These are not easy licenses to get and require many hours of experience and study in addition to continuing education every year. I recently let the last one expire. The cost of maintaining them was too much when I wasn’t using them. My friend that I have known for decades, asked how I felt when I let them expire. The question alone, tells me that she gets it. My response was, “I felt sad”. For one, I worked hard to get those certifications. I would have to take the state tests again if I wanted to be re-licensed. The second and for me, more important issue is that by letting them expire, I am acknowledging that this part of my life is over.
For the longest time after retirement, I still felt that part of my identity was who I had been at my job. I suppose this is what happens when you work at the same place for 32 years. It has only been recently that I felt brave enough to let all of that go. I am still the same person as I was then, even without the licenses. I reached a point where I felt like I couldn’t move on while I was still holding onto this part of my past. And so, I let the licenses go. I am unlikely to work in the water treatment industry again. That is ok. Thirty-two years of working with water and wastewater is enough. There are lots of other things out there, and it’s time to move on. Even though I haven’t been using those certifications, they were taking up space in my head. While I was still grasping onto them as a safety net, I didn’t feel free to take up something new. And now I can.
I think we are all like that without realizing it. Just because we aren’t using or thinking about something doesn’t mean it’s not occupying space in our brains. This is the basis of what some therapies are built on. Memories and experiences that are not forefront in our minds affect how we feel and what we do. Some things have to be dealt with and come to terms with before we can move on.
What my new path will be, is yet to be determined. There are so many things to do. I feel like I should try them all. Where do my strengths and passions lie? Writing, painting, craft sales, dog training, more gardening? I’m even looking into canine massage to see if that is something I would like to do. And I can decide to work on multiple things. I am my own boss now and if I want to paint in the morning and do something else in the afternoon, no one is going to tell me otherwise. Ok, maybe the dogs will protest when it is time for a walk!
I suspect many people go through the feelings that I have experienced. I had no idea that it would take me so long to get where I am though. Well, now I have arrived. I am curious to see where the rest of life takes me. Onward!
Sanctuary Acres 