Tag Archives: Friends

Friendship 

This is how happy I am after hanging out with friends at our Sheltie Rescue meeting today. They are some of the kindest, most big hearted people I know.

Over the years we have learned that we have many things in common, even outside of the dog world, which is what brought us together in the first place. We share many similar interests; hiking, cooking, gardening, crafts, and a minutiae of trivia that keeps our minds busy.

We even care about each other’s families. One of my dear “sheltie friends” asked to put my mother-in-law on her church prayer list. 

And of course this love and caring extends to each other’s pets. How could it not? This was the nucleus of what brought us together. At the illness or passing of a dear family member of the furry persuasion, the condolences start pouring in, be it kind words, cards, notes, emails, the support is there. When someone has a loss, we all grieve.

But mostly the times are happy and we share love and interests of life.  What a blessing to have friends like these ! 

A Visit  With Friends 

Baxter had his first visit to the nursing home last night.  It went well.  Of course it did,  this is Baxter we’re talking about. Our friends who normally  visit with us weren’t able to come so I thought it might be a good time to introduce Baxter. The folks we visit have heard all about him so I thought they might like to meet him. He was a hit. Our friend Bob said that’s my kind of dog.


Of course Shelby was a hit too. She’s the most reliable of my dogs on a visit. Always happy to work and spend time with mommy. 


And the ever popular Nikki is a crowd favorite. She’s so cute that sometimes I liken her to a stuffed toy.

All in all, a very good visit. We shall return. 

Making Memories, Do It Now

Daughters
My daughter, that I dearly love spending time with, and me.

I have been spending some time in contemplation lately. What is really important in life? Making the world a better place and improving the conditions of living things certainly is up there. That goes without saying.

I have begun to realize though that making time to spend with those you love is much more important than I have given it credit for in the past. We go about our busy daily lives. There is always more to do. We tend to take our loved ones for granted. I’ll spend time with them next week. I’ll make the trip to see my dear friend next month. Often, when next week or next month arrives, we say, ok I’ll really go see them next week or month. And so on. We think that we will always have another opportunity to see them. This may not be true.

Making memories with my grandchildren at Lake Erie
Making memories with my grandchildren at Lake Erie

This fact has been becoming more plain to me and the point was really driven home last night. I went to calling hours for a friend’s daughter. The daughter was only 30 years old and succumbed to a short term battle with breast cancer. The funeral home was full of people who were stunned that this young, beautiful, successful lady was taken from them with so little warning. The father said to me, take the time to make those memories. It is important to spend time together, be there for each other, and spend time making the fun and meaningful memories too. Then we will have something to cherish and hold near to our hearts.

My niece training Nikki
Spending time showing my niece how to train Nikki

I have lost a number of people who where close to me in the last year. There is not one of them that I don’t wish I had spent more time with. I have learned. In the future I will try more often to spend time with people. I may not have the chance again.

Looking Back, Looking Forward

Friends
Me and my friend Becky in Bar Harbor, Maine, 1998.

The last year has been quite a time of change and loss for me. Last June my mother died. Two of my very close, dear friends died of cancer related illnesses, one in March and one in May of this year. In June we lost our beloved greyhound, Phoebe, to a traumatic injury as a result of cancer. And yesterday my one-time mother-in-law, and always mother, left this earth.

For a while I was feeling very mortal, not to mention old. I dare say I was somewhat depressed. This seems understandable considering the losses I have had to bear. Now I am reaching the point of being retrospective. I would not want any of my loved ones to continue to suffer their worldly pains and infirmities. Ok, maybe a selfish part of me wants that so I could still have them with me. But the other part of me knows that it is selfish and too much to ask. Sometimes love is letting go. At least for me.

And so it is time to reframe my outlook on life. It is time for the last pictures of me and them, taken during their end days, to come down and be replaced with pictures of us in the good times. Pictures of us living our lives and embodying the joy we shared. Pictures that embrace life! My friends and family were not their illnesses. I will honor them by remembering the love.

Family
Family-my brother, me, and my then mother-in-law at Stan Hywett in 1998

The memories and love are but one part of the experience though. The rest is what I choose to do now. My loved ones are gone. I am not. It is still my time on this earth. Time to live by one of my favorite quotes, the author is unknown to me.

“I shall pass this way but once. Therefore, any good that I can do… or any kindness that I can show-let me do it now for I shall not pass this way again.”

It is my time to show perseverance, caring, helpfulness, occasional goofiness, and undying love. I shall take the parts that they have left me and use them to help pave the way for the rest of my life. The life that is still to come. They will go with me and continue to make a difference in the world. We are but a sum of our experiences and what we choose to do with them. And my friends, I choose to go on joyfully living, taking the bits of each I have known who have gone before me, with me. Onward!

Fair Lady of Spring

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Oh, fair lady of spring,
First, bearing your cup – like blossoms,
Then wearing your memories dear,
Thank you for the smiles you bring.

This vase makes me smile for many reasons. I enjoy it in its own right. The figure makes me think she is a peasant girl, wearing her Sunday best, out enjoying the gathering of beautiful flowers that she will display. And the flowers she holds are beautiful in and of themselves.

I also have special feelings for this vase because it was a gift from a friend.  It had belonged to her mother. After her mother passed, they were clearing out some of her things. When my friend saw this vase she knew that it would be appreciated in its new home with me.

And so she is.

Casting A Stone

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Last week was a sad one. A dear friend of mine named Becky lost her battle with cancer. She will be missed by many because she was quite an impressive lady. The rest of this story is going to be upbeat because that’s what Becky would have wanted. That’s just who she was.

You never went away from time spent with Becky without feeling better about yourself and the world in general. She had this Pollyanna view of the world and she believed so hard that we all wanted to be a part of that vision. Her’s wasn’t an idle vision. She did realize that as part of being human, we all need help. And that’s where she went into action. She would roll up her sleeves and help. People, animals, you name it and she wanted to be part of the solution. She was there for people, family,  dear friends,  or acquaintances, often even strangers. She would show up with a gift of food, an offer of transportation, a shoulder to cry on. She would see a need and fill it. And she would do so joyfully or commiserate with you. Whatever you needed, she provided. Becky was one of the most selfless people I have known. I am fortunate to have called her friend.

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Many of Becky’s interests paralleled my own. Of course this means they involved dogs! I met her through my, new at the time, husband. They were friends from church. I hadn’t known Becky for too many months when she told me that between us she thought we could start a 4-H Petpals group. This is an animal assisted therapy group, kind of like therapy dogs but employing other types of animals too. Her daughter Rachel was also a founding member of our Petpals group. She had Rachel helping and working with us every step of the way. (Rachel is also a wonderful human being -she learned from the best. Like mother, like daughter. But that is a story for another day.) So we all had dogs certified to visit residential care facilities and some of “our kids” had rabbits that visited too. Previously if someone had told me that I would be involved as a 4-H advisor and supervising visits between pets, kids, and residents, I would have responded “Say what?” But Becky suggested it and I believed it was possible. Not too mention that meant I got the added benefit of spending time with her. She had that effect on people. And you know what? She was right. She went around spreading her special brand of magic, making others believe too. And more often than not, people rose to the occasion.

Becky also became a Professional Certified Dog Trainer. She helped a friend of mine with dog training issues. At no cost of course. She helped local rescues train their dogs so that they would be more adoptable. She and her family raised several dogs for seeing guide dog groups. She was involved with training for the Cell Dog programs in correctional facilities. She spread love to the people as she went about her work too. All the 4-H kids knew she cared about them. The seniors and kids that were visited knew her sincere and  caring ways. The folks in the dog program in jail were recipients of her thoughtfulness from magazines she saved for them to her kind, listening ear.

And Becky was involved in so much more. Church groups and causes, school events, sporting events, local issues, veteran’s events, and too many more to list. I’m sure that I don’t even know all the causes and people she helped. And through it all, she was a caring and thoughtful mother.

And when Becky was diagnosed with her illness, do you think it slowed her down? She may have reprioritized her life to take advantage of what was most important to her but she kept on going and doing those things. She continued to help others. She still volunteered and found ways to brighten the days of others. Over the past year she sent me a thinking of you card, shared a small gift, and sent inspirational emails. I’m sure she did the same for other friends too.

Memories of my friend make think of the following quote from Mother Teresa. “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” It’s more like my friend cast a large rock into the waters with the number of lives that she touched.

I hope that as my tribute to my friend,  I can make the world just a little bit better by showing care and compassion to others. She’s a hard act to follow but she makes me want to leave the world a better place too.

Bravo, my friend.

One of the Greats

Baby Dakota

Dakota was a surprise from the beginning. The plan was to adopt a smaller dog from the shelter as he would be living in an apartment. This is one of his baby pictures. He appeared to be a small terrier type dog, maybe with some Yorkie in the mix. He belonged to my brother who was in college at the time.

Dakota Bear

This is Dakota all grown up. We never did decide what his heritage was but he ended up weighing 70-75 pounds and was quite large. Just goes to show you never can be guaranteed what you will end up with. We wouldn’t have traded him for the world though. His body was not the only thing that was large. His personality and spirit were as large as they come. He would only ever really listen to my brother. Every one else was second best. He adored my brother and thought the rest of us rated slightly above strangers when it came to respect. Dakota did love us though as evidenced by the wag of his tail against the floor when he saw us.

Dakota and Duncan

Dakota would come to visit us whenever my brother did and they both even lived with us for a couple years. Above are Dakota and Duncan when they were one year old. Oh, the fun they had! It was always quite the sight.  By the time they were done, the furniture had been rearranged across the room and the cushions were spread liberally around. Look at the pure joy on Duncan’s face.

Dakota

Dakota lived the good life. He went to so many places with my brother. Walks across campus, too many area parks to count, to Lake Erie beachs several times, and to so many other places. I remember one excursion we took to Mentor Headlands beach early in the spring when it was still cold. It resulted in me having a discussion with a ranger about why dogs were not allowed on the beach when no one else was there but babies were allowed there in diapers when we knew they were not potty trained. He agreed with my line of thinking but there was still a warning ticket involved. Dakota also was a regular attendee at the annual Buzzard Sighting Day in Hinckley for a number of years. 

As the years passed my brother’s family grew, first with a wife, and then with a beautiful little girl. Dakota was a part of it all as he should have been.  I continued to stay close with Dakota. Whenever my brother and his family traveled, several times a year to visit other family members, Dakota would stay with us. We looked forward to and enjoyed these visits. It gave Dakota a chance for a sleepover with the “cousins” and an opportunity to spend time outside in the pasture with the other dogs.

Dakota always had a mind of his own and was up for an adventure. One time during the night he took half a chocolate cake off the counter and ate it. We were extremely fortunate that there weren’t any adverse reactions. He had to sleep in his crate from then on. Another time I was putting him in the pasture with the other dogs but he had a different plan. He decided he wanted to take a walk through the woods towards our neighbor’s house. As I  called his name, he looked over his shoulder as if to say “so long, I have something else to do” and kept going down the trail. I had to run back to the house for a leash and then take off after him. I caught up to him as he ambled along. He looked up and his reaction was oh, hey you’re here. I  put the leash on and put him in the pasture with no further incident. Dakota loved the pasture. When he was done, he was done though. He would stand at the gate and bark one woof about every 10 seconds until we put him in the house. We always joked, Dakota does what Dakota wants. We just gave him guidelines.

He was highly intelligent but with attitude.  Another time when he was staying with us, my husband told Dakota to do something that he didn’t want to do. Dakota flung his crate door open with a paw so hard it slammed open and shut and open again.  He stomped into his crate, plopped himself down and gave a loud annoyed sigh. His version of letting us know he was not happy with our behavior.

I remember another time I  incurred his displeasure too. He thought I was a liar. He was staying with us for a few days while my brother was in North Carolina. It was the day my brother was returning to pick Dakota up and I told Dakota this. It turned out my brother couldn’t come that day due to heavy snow. As evening approached Dakota kept looking at the door and out the window, waiting for his ride home. I finally had to tell him “he’s not coming today Dakota. ” That earned me one of his withering looks as he went and laid down on his bed. I learned that day to never say something I wasn’t absolutely sure of because Dakota would call me on it.

Dakota

It has been my experience that the more challenging dogs have deeper bonds with us. The effort put into the relationship multiplies and is returned exponentially. Dakota was one of those dogs. He was loving and fiercely loyal. His big presence leaves a big empty space with his passing. Dakota left us today at 15 1/2 years of age. Run free once again sweet boy.

Gifts from Mother Nature

Harry Lauder

Mother Nature was indeed kind to us this weekend. It was such a beautiful day of mid-November on Sunday that I took a walk around our property to check on the progress of the plants. The garden area is still quite spectacular. The plants have the “bones” of the garden as backdrop so even with the lesser array of blooms it is still pleasant to look at. The fountain and sandstone beds anchor the plants. In this shot above I especially like the dappling of the sunlight on the fence and the way it is reflected on the surface of the water. The fountain pump has been put away for the year so the fountain functions as a reflecting pool for the time being.

                                Snapdragon Snapdragons

These snapdragons were all volunteers. That’s one of the reasons I love them. Plant them once and you can enjoy them for a few years afterward too. I also appreciate them because they bloom so prolifically and for so long. I have seen an occasional bloom even in December! And the white snapdragon is growing from between two sandstone blocks on the side of the flowerbed. These tough little plants show tenacity. Hence the phrase, bloom where you’re planted. Mother Nature planted these and they took advantage.

Hydrangea

The hydrangea continue to put on a show as well. Their foliage is at least as impressive as their blooms which are not too shabby themselves. Large green leaves provide a lushness that is fading in the garden at this time of year.

November Rhododendron

A few plants do appear to be confused by the unseasonably warm weather. They are taking advantage of it as are we. This rhododendron has several blooms. I took advantage of this warm spell too. I dug up some daffodil bulbs and moved them to new locations. Then I took a book and sat on the patio to read in the sun. Then friends and family came over and visited while enjoying time outside. Life is good. This is Ohio in mid-November. What a gift!

Miracles of Friendship

Livvi and Me                       Livvi

Before the days I knew you,

you were a best friend in the making.

And then you came into my life,

and that destiny came true.

Sharing our ears and hearts is a gift without measure,

For the best friend that’s a daughter,

Is this world’s dearest treasure.

 

Above is a picture of my daughter and me taken recently at her apartment. On the right is a picture of my best friend. You may notice that these photos are of the same person. That’s because I am one of the luckiest people in the world! My daughter is my best friend.

We enjoy many of the same things. One of our perfect hang out activities is going to the library and then getting ice cream. Or going to the book store and drinking coffee while perusing the books. Of course these activities are preceded and followed up with petting cats and dogs. A favorite special activity is the trip we take to the beach at Geneva State Park on Lake Erie every summer. This year we are doing it twice! Happy days! This day of swimming, lounging and picnicking always concludes with a trip the ice cream stand that has a specially made soft serve flavor of the week. Hmmm…do you see a trend here? We do like our ice cream. But it is the experiences we have together that are the most important part.

Actually, my daughter and I don’t even need an event or activity to spend time together and enjoy it. The time spent together is joy enough. Sitting on the porch, or couch, and talking away are times I wouldn’t want to live without. Of course we do this while petting dogs and cats. It’s part of who we are. We talk about things from nail polish to solving an assortment of the worlds problems. This girl will ask me for advice and carefully listen to what I have to say, then think through the best course of action. Or inaction if it’s appropriate. And sometimes I will ask her opinion on my issues too. She has good perspective and input that I sometimes don’t think of.

We make an excellent and formidable team. My wish for you, is that you may have such a stellar best friend. And if you are fortunate, she may also be your daughter.

 

Baking and Friends

Peanut butter Frosted & Filled Cupcakes I made a batch of cupcakes this evening. They are one of my signature creations. The cake is a delicious chocolate fudge. The filling is a creamy peanut butter concoction. And the frosting is buttery, creamy peanut butter as well.

Said cupcakes are all packed up and ready to go to work in the morning. We are having a party at work. A combination cook out and retirement celebration. So these cupcakes are a gift to share with people I care about. We are a close bunch at work. Especially those of us who have worked there together for a long time. I have been employed at this same place for over 28 years. So although not too many have been there as long as me anymore, I have known some of these people for a long time.

Long lasting friendships and bonds have been formed. In years past when it was a smaller crew, we hung out together and had gatherings just because we liked to. There were also numerous times when these folks were there for me when I needed them. Two different bosses (read as friends) helped me move on two separate occasions. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Friends from work came through for me on so many occasions. Those bonds run long and deep.

Some have since retired. I miss having the pleasure of seeing these old friends on a regular basis. But the bonds are still there. Last month I got a call from a couple of these friends out of the blue. I hadn’t seen them in a few years. They packed up and moved to Florida when they had the chance. A married couple that both worked here at one time. (Hi Kenny and Kathy!) This is one of those instances when Facebook is a wonderful thing. The wife had been reading my blog on Facebook and decided to give me a call. When we were done talking she handed the phone over to her husband. I’m glad that she did. What an enjoyable opportunity to catch up with both of them!

Sometimes I see other retiree friends around town. It always gives me that feel good feeling to experience the connection that is still there. Some of the best and longest lasting bonds need not have continual contact.